Tips To Help You Become a Better Parent
Becoming parents is one of the most fulfilling experiences a couple can ever have. On the other hand, playing the role of parent is not an easy job. There are several times when you may feel you have failed completely as a parent. But all these ups and downs are a part of being ‘parent’. They can help you know how to be a good parent. Here we have mentioned the good parenting tips that will really help you to deal with common parenting issues.
A healthy relationship between you and your child is significantly important as it decides your child’s further actions in life. If a child shares good relations with his or her parents, then it is implied that he/she will trust, respect and obey them. On the contrary, if the child has strained relationship with his parents, he/she is more likely to ignore their opinions and may remain distrustful.
Try our best tips on parenting for all those challenging situations which could go a long way:
1. Your Child-Your Source of Pride:
You should always be grateful for having your child. It is imperative to know that there are so many people who may not have the opportunity of having this privilege. They might exchange anything in their life to become a parent. So feel good and happy that god has chosen you to embrace this wonderful gift. Feel fortunate and make your child feel the same. Never regret having a child nor make your kid sense such feelings.
2. Never Ever Compare:
It is a crime to compare your children with anyone. Be it their friends, siblings, cousins or even peers. One should understand that every child is unique and special. A child can have his/her own dreams and ambitions and it is the duty of parents to respect their aspirations. If a child is treated inferior in comparison to others, he/she gradually becomes a victim of inferiority complex and loses self-confidence. Thus it is important to accept your children as they are and let them pursue their dreams and interests the way they want.
3. Never Pronounce Harsh Punishment:
A child is not a child, if he does not commit mistakes or make mischief. This does not mean that you have to always show a blind eye to all their mistakes. But the idea is that the punishment or reaction should be just as fair and reasonable. Under no circumstances should you subject your child to physical violence. Apart from losing their respect, hitting children can make them more violent. He/she will start beating others or become more aggressive in their dealings. Always look for other options to teach your child lessons on good morale, but never resort to physical abuse.
4. Use Natural Consequences To Make Them Understand:
How much ever you feel like scolding, threatening or punishing your children for their mistakes, they will never understand their folly. The best way to make them learn is through natural consequences. If a child is not keeping his/her room clean, instead of scolding or abusing, one should let the natural consequences prevail. As he continues such behavior, his things will get lost, making his life difficult. Then he will realize the importance of having a clean room. Though this option takes time but the lesson learnt will be much more effective.
5. Be a Parent When You Have To:
It is said that one should be like a friend to your child. But this should never stop you from being a parent. As a parent you should not ignore their mistakes or overlook their wrong decisions. Just like a parent does, you should guide them about what is wrong and what is right. Don’t be afraid that if you reprimand your child, he/she might get angry with you. It is better to handle that temporary anger than handle a child who has gone a wrong way. Thus, if situation demands, you should be strict.
6. Remember How Old Your Child Is:
It is essential that you change your parenting style as and when your child grows older. It is a mishap if you treat your teenage child as a toddler. Helicopter parenting is good when your child is an infant, but if you continue this when he gets older; it is surely going to backfire. With increase in age, every child urges for independence. As a parent don’t overlook this need of your child and give appropriate space. Even though it is difficult for parents to change their way of caring and loving their child, but age-appropriate parenting is the need of the hour.
7. Don’t Rely Too Much On Others Ideas:
Once you become a parent, everybody will be ready to give you all kinds of advices and unwanted suggestions. But this does not mean that you follow whatever is told to you. The best is to understand that each family has their own story and completely different conditions. What worked for their child might not work for yours. You can always listen what others have to say, but apply it on your family only if the suggestions and conditions are favorable. You know your children best and you are the best person to judge what is right and what is wrong for them.
8. Your Actions Speak Louder Than Your Words:
There are so many parents who say goody-goody things to their children, but hardly follow what they preach. This is the biggest mistake a parent can commit. Because your child will seldom follow what you say, but definitely follow what you do. So be careful when you act before your children. They are fast learners and easily grasp what you do. Even if it is a rare activity, they remember that and emulate your acts. So, think hundred times before you act in front of your children.
9. Don’t Flood Them With Love:
The supreme quality required in a parent is unconditional love and affection. But there has to be a boundary, beyond which the affection starts spoiling a child. It is often seen that a highly pampered child gets spoilt and gets out of parents’ control. Thus, it is mandatory for parents to show love, affection and care; but at the same time it is necessary to teach them right values. Parents should never be over lenient or flood them with material possessions.
10. Make Them Feel In Safe Hands:
Your child should feel the safest in company of his parents. Never create a hostile environment at home. Children are often afraid of arguments or bickering between parents. Your kid may not only learn to argue in the same manner, but the sense of security gets hurts. Meanwhile, make sure to teach him/her that individual differences can be sorted out in peaceful manner. Overall, the sense of belonging towards family should always accompany a child.
11. Listen, Listen and Listen:
This is the most important and one of the best parenting tips to become a good parent. Always remember to have a dialogue with your children and invariably avoid monologues. To listen and understand their fears, doubts and anxieties often calms them. Being a parent you should make it a point to show interest in things your child do and also what they have to say. Thus if you show interest and empathize with him/her, there are chances he/she will confide in you whenever there is a problem, instead of going to friends or other people. Also it is necessary that if you want them to listen to you, you should listen to them.
12. Spend Ample Time With Your Children:
This is a critical issue when both the parents are working and the child is left alone or is under the care of nannies or maids. There is hardly any quality time spent with children. So, in spite of your busy schedules, you should always spend lot of time with your child. There is no alternative or substitute for this. Talking about daily life, going out or doing some activity together works wonders in strengthening your bond with your child. So, make a special effort to be an important part of your child’s life. You may never know when they grow up and you might end up regretting missing those early moments of life with them.
13. Always Explain Before Enforcing:
Parents feel that it is their right to set the disciplinary rules and disobedience actions. But many a times they forget that a child also has a right to seek explanation for the same. You should not thrust your dos and don’ts upon your child without explaining him/her as to why they are necessary. Proper explanations of importance of rules and its repercussions can help a child to follow it more willingly and is less likely to overrule them. At times it is considered beneficial to ask for children’s opinion also to make the rules, so that they do not back off later on.
15. Stop Seeking Respect:
Respect is something which should always come naturally and can never be forced upon. Therefore, instead of urging your child to respect you, make yourself worthy of his respect. When the children are young, parents are their only role model. Once the child grows and comes in contact with other people, he/she starts comparing you with others. As a parent you should try to be the most attractive to your child, thereby winning respect.
16. Help Them To Be Their Own Self:
Allow your kid to explore and experience the world on his own. By being over caring, you may hamper his growth as well as budding personality. Allow him to make mistakes and learn from them. Don’t always make decisions on his behalf, let him take decisions from the choices available and live with the consequences of those decisions. After a certain age, a child is ought to become independent. But instead of waiting till that moment, it is prudent to start early. In the initial years you are there to support him and thus any negative consequence of a wrong decision can be corrected easily.
17. Be an Important Part of Their Life:
When your child is an infant, you know everything about his life. But once they grow and become outgoing, you might get aloof. Don’t let this happen forever. This does not mean that you have to be an interfering parent, but you can always be participative. As a responsible parent you should meet his teachers regularly, know his friends, understand his likes and dislikes, apprehensions and doubts, etc. You should try to be an inseparable part of their life. The boundary between giving freedom and making them independent is thin, but as a parent you should try to create a balance and abide by the same.
18. Always Trust Your Intuition:
It is said that a parent’s intuition can never go wrong, especially a mother’s. There is an invisible chord which ties a mother to her child. Thus, always trust your gut feeling and take suitable action. Many parents learn this lesson later in their life and regret afterwards for not having taken any action going by their intuition. For instance, if you realised that your child is not in a good company then in majority of the cases you are right. So, you should take an action immediately without waiting for clues. At that time, don’t be afraid of your child’s wrath. Believe it or not, your intuition always talks to you; it is up to you to listen.
19. Be Prepared To Expect the Worst:
All the time a parent expects only the best for their children. But at times, their definition of best and a child’s definition of best may not match. The parents are often accused of living their own ambitions or unfulfilled dreams through their children. But this can create a burden of unnecessary expectation on your child. Let your child decide his/her own dreams and goals for life. As a parent you can only guide them and never thrust yourself upon them. So, at times be prepared to face unwanted things. As long as your child is clear and confident about his/her life, you need not worry too much.
20. Consistency Is The Key:
Being flexible is different and not opposite of being consistent. If you make rules for discipline and change them frequently as per your convenience, then you are neither flexible nor lenient, but inconsistent. Inconsistency in your words, ideas and actions can send wrong signals to your child and confuse him/her. You should try to stick to your rules and regulations once they are implemented. Once you start diverging from them, kid may feel they are unimportant and take you as well as the set rules for granted. Under extreme conditions, if you change rules then it is called flexibility which is acceptable as well as a requisite necessity.
21. Find The Sunny Side Of Things:
Most parents take the responsibility of parenting too seriously. But the more serious you get, the harder it becomes. Though it is an effective parenting tip, sometimes it is important to just take it easy and let the things flow. Try to find the lighter side and fun aspect in things otherwise the whole process of parenting becomes boring. Becoming childish with your child and adding fun to daily activities zings up life. You should reconsider that one mistake here or there is not the question of life or death. But surely a positive attitude and calm mind can go a long way to make difficult things easy.
22. Praise in Public Reprimand in Private:
To hit a child or scold him publically is the worst thing to happen to him/her. Never ever do that. Whenever you need to rebuke or lecture your child, select private moments. If done in public, it hinders the self-esteem of children. Besides, one should be assertive and kind when scolding and not be stern and serious. A child is very sensitive to such issues and that can affect his/her psyche quite badly. On the other side, if you want to praise him/her for a work well done, then always do it in public. It is a great feeling for them when you praise them in front of their friends, elders or classmates. Follow this golden rule and you win respect and trust from your child instantly.
23. Help Your Children Improve Their Social Skills:
When a parent fails to instill proper social skills and manners in their children, they grow up with same deficiency and remain aloof or socially ill mannered. Your basic responsibility should be to make your child socially acceptable. Right from his early years, imbibe good behavior and mannerisms in him. When a child grows up and is socially ill mannered all fingers eventually point to improper parenting. Thus in order to avoid the blame, teach basic good etiquette and help your kid to increase his social quotient.
24. Special Care In Teens Is Must:
Teenage – is considered globally a difficult phase in parenting. Managing your teenagers is a special case and sheer care is required at this stage. Teenage is considered to be the most sensitive age and your parenting during this phase can decide your child’s future well-being. Being too careless or being over protective is considered to be dangerous. The best way to know how to be a good parent to a teenager is to let him be independent and free while stepping behind, still keeping a keen eye on his behavior.
25. Have Surplus Of Patience:
Here is another best tips for good parenting. A must have quality for any parent is patience. There is no substitute or alternative for it. You should keep your calm under tiring situations and overcome your anger to become a better parent. There will be a test of your patience at every stage, but having conquered the art of patience, you can sail smooth. Whenever you find yourself under panic attack, just tell yourself that this too shall pass.
26. Be Relaxed And Calm:
If you are stressed and get into a panic mode over trivial issues, it will affect your child too. Stress in any form is not good for you or for your little bundle of joy. A relaxed environment at home helps your child to evolve as an emotionally balanced individual.
27. Lead By An Example:
Be a role model to your child. If you want your child to be disciplined, you should practice self-discipline yourself first. Practice before you preach. When you respect your peers, your child also learns to respect others by observing you. If you behave well with your friends, neighbors, colleagues, relative and parents then your child will follow your lead.
28. Have An Open Channel Of Communication:
It is important that you have a clear channel of communication with your child. Even when he is just a baby, talking to him regularly helps in building a bond between the two of you. It helps him develop his speech and vocabulary.
As your child grows, an open channel of communication helps you to know and understand what’s going on in his mind. Rather than depending on new gadgets to know about your child’s whereabouts, it’s better to have a one-on-one dialogue with your child. An environment that is conducive for discussions and dialogue are of prime importance to help in making him more confident, secure and independent.
29. Have Faith In Your Child:
As a parent, you want to provide all the help to your child. But remember that over indulgence has a negative impact on him as he becomes overly dependent on you. Such dependence hinders his emotional and mental growth.
It’s a good idea to let your child do things on his own. Even if he fails while doing it, he learns from his failure. But again, your role as guide comes into the picture here. You can ask him to adopt the lessons to correct his mistakes in the future.
This was our list of happy parenting tips. Try them and make a difference as a good parent! Please do share if you have more ideas and tips on how to be a successful parent on this page so that they can also learn new concepts. Hope you have a wonderful time with your child!